Valentine’s Day seems to get bigger and bigger every year. It’s a day that never seems to turn out well. When I was single, I dreamt about it and cried that I had no one to share it with. Now that I’m married, I have different priorities and it seems my husband can’t get it right.
.
The truth is, it’s entirely my fault. I’m a mass of contradictions. I want to be frugal and practical and all the things a good wife should be. I want to be a grown up. But inside is a rampaging teenager, shot through with insecurity, who wants the fairytale every candy and jewelry commercial has seeded into my brain.
How can the poor guy win?
It’s a thin tightrope he must walk to please both sides of me. But here is a list of what I do and don’t want for VDay.
For details about the free screening of Love Between the Covers and my participation on the author’s panel afterward, please see the details at the bottom.
Roses — absolutely not. At this time of year those lovely blooms are four and five times the price. Yes, I love roses, but no, do not buy them. Please wait for next month, go to Costco, and pick up a bunch for $19. that way I can enjoy them and not feel guilty that you’ve spent a hundred bucks!
Flowers — yes, yes, yes — find something small, pretty and off the major rip off list. Here it IS the thought that counts and not wanting roses doesn’t mean I don’t like the flowers that are more reasonably priced on this day.
Gas Station Roses — no, no, no — they die almost immediately. The same goes for Grocery Store Roses. They may be convenient and thrifty, but it’s a definite no go.
Expensive Dinners — not tonight — the restaurants will be crowded and the waitstaff frantic. I don’t need to be in the chaos.
You making dinner? A big fat YES, YES, YES. You don’t even have to make it. Chinese food on our kitchen table with a candle is fine. Just don’t serve it to me in the plastic takeout containers, please? Find two dishes, two placemats, put your lovely non-roses flowers in the center, turn on the stereo, and I’ll be in heaven.
You cleaning up after dinner? OMG YES! Being stuck with dishes is the primary reason most of us gals want to go out. Leave my kitchen sparkling and I’ll be yours forever.
Gifts of jewelry or perfume? Not for me. The card you write is more than enough — and I’ve enough perfume from every other birthday and Christmas that I can open up a store of my own. LOL.
Chocolate? Please, please no. I am so overweight. If I cheat, let it be for something I want so badly I have to go out and get it. That box of bon bons you buy me is not a good thing.
A gift of dance lessons? or a class at the college? or a weekend away? Do you want me to swoon? Wow, now that’s a gift I’d love. It shows that you’ve been listening and can plan something you know I will love.
Curling up with me and watching a date movie, here at home, in our own bed or living room? What could be better?
But most of all, my darling husband, I want your time, your attention, and you looking at me as if you were dying of thirst and I your only source of water. I want you to dance with me in our kitchen, I want you to whisper sweet words in my ear, I want you to make me giggle and blush.
Because for Valentine’s Day, what I really, really, really want is YOU.
In celebration of Valentine’s Day, the Ashburn Library in Virginia is putting on a free showing of the movie, Love Between the Covers, and they’ve asked me (yes, me!!!) to participate in an author’s panel discussing romance in books, afterward.
I hope those of you in the area will join me and not laugh too hard if I stutter and look foolish. Here is the information:
2 PM Saturday, February 13th at the Ashburn Library, 43316 Hay Road, Ashburn, VA 20147. Hope to see you there!
This, this and this! From the roses to the time with hubby to the gift of dance lessons. Hope the man in question reads this!
Thanks, Adriana!
I am with you on Valentine’s. I told Handsome not to get me anything, just for us to walk to the donut store and get our favorite treat. He said yes. I can’t wait.
For me, it’s truly the little things all year long that matter. Not the big event ones around the holiday.
Yum donuts! Maybe I should have added that to my list. Thanks, Vicki.
You captured the push pull of Valentine’s Day perfectly!
Aw shucks. Thanks for stopping by!
Beautifully put, Diana! I’m with you on all of them. Sometimes it’s good to be frugal!
Love you, GH sister. And enjoy Valentine’s Day with your honey. Hugs to him.
xo
XO
Love this post, Diana. The romantic inside me went awww!
I hope you get your dream Valentine and best of luck on the panel, you’ll rock it 🙂
Thanks so much. Jacquie, that means so much.
My poor hubby gave up on me! Food allergies have put a stop to chocolate, or dinner out, I dislike cut flowers because, well, they’re dead! I love potted (alive) flowers but have nowhere to put them that the cat won’t try to eat them, and as for cards? His Christmas tradition is a beautiful sappy card, so once a year is enough.
Good grief, how can I possibly be a romance author and write about love?
LOL, because I have a man who bakes me bread every week, and does all the dishes, he makes the bed every day, proudly tells people about my books, and puts up with my mother a couple of times a year… because it’s the little everyday things that scream LOVE to me 🙂 not a one day event.
Aw, he sounds like such a keeper, Kathryn Jane!
You are so right about the roses! I really would rather not get grocery store roses, they seem like such an afterthought. And it would kill me to think he spent a ton of money on roses. And I really prefer other colors than red. But it doesn’t matter. My birthday is so close to V-Day, I get a “this is for both” kind of thing. However, we are going to Valentine show at a cabaret on Saturday night at my suggestion.
Also, I wanted dance lessons for years. But no matter how many times I said that was what I wanted, no luck. Finally “Santa Claus” (me) put dance lesson gift certificates in our Christmas stockings. He loved the lessons.
Ha ha, Ellen, I should try that! And Happy Birthday!
You hit all the highlights, Diana! Now to figure out how to get my hubs to read this!
Happy Valentine’s Day!
Lol. I am trying to get MY hubby to read it, too. Thanks for stopping by.
So how many of us just forwarded this link to their husband/SO?
I did! Good job, Diana!
Love that, Cathy. And how wonderful that you can finally say HUSBAND ! Happy Vday newlywed.
Reblogged this on Jeannie Hall Suspense and commented:
Valentine’s Wishes and a Fantastic Library Event!
Great post, Diana! And so funny! I love how specific you were about everything, just to make sure your husband gets it right. 😃❤️
Well, even specific often doesn’t work. I remember circling a sweater I wanted for Christmas, along with the size. Right sweater, wrong size. And then he was upset I exchanged it for the right size. He said, you’re never happy. What was I supposed to do, wear it as an earring? LOL. Thank God he’s such a wonderful hubby in every other respect.
Thanks for reblogging!
I love this, Diana. I can so relate. I’m sending this to my husband. Dream gift: “you looking at me as if you were dying of thirst and I your only source of water.” Yes, yes, yes! Wish I could hear your talk, but I hope to catch the movie in Austin.
Wish you could be there, too, sweetie. Thanks for stopping by.
Aww, what a sweet post, Diana!
I had to laugh at your comment about being a “mass of contradictions.” It seems like many of us are. Maybe it’s sign of the times and the busyness of our lives.
Sounds like you’re good at communicating with your hubby, which definitely helps. 🙂
Here’s to a Valentine’s Day for you and your husband that’s filled with hugs and kisses, whispered words of affection, long looks into each others eyes and the certainty that no matter where you are or what you’re doing or what you give each other, it’s all in the name of love!
Hugs to you!
Thanks, Pris. I hope someone is whispering sweet words into your ear, too.
Hey, Diana. I’m still chuckling. You caught so perfectly the dichotomy of Valentines Day for most of us. I still really want the box of chocolates, though hubby knows not to get that for me. I have no will power and would be mad at myself later for indulging! We do sweet/funny cards and usually eat in for the reason you mention. Central Market has great fresh ready made meals. All you need is a microwave.
You will do great on the panel. Remember to “Speak up, Rose.” 🙂 I’ll share.
I’m glad it is not just me, Marsha. You’re a doll for sharing. Thanks.
Diana,
I love your post. We do a lot of those things. And I guess I get Valentine’s almost every night because he is the official dishwasher loader/unloader.
On Valentine’s Day he buys me tulips. But he also hits Sam’s and brings home roses sometimes. If you add an aspirin a day to the water instead of that packet of stuff they include, the roses will open slower and last a whole week. Plus, scoring the bottom of the stems so water can penetrate helps too. (I change the water completely after the 3rd day).
All your suggestions sound great. Hope you have a fabulous Valentine’s Day.
Karen
Love the tips. I’ll definitely try them. Thanks for being here.
What an interesting post! I followed Marsha’s share. I hope you get the wonderful Valentine’s celebration that you want. I’m sure you will.
Happy Valentine’s Day, Diana!
Thank you Susan. So glad you found your way to BookSmart!
So true… women do want the attention more than anything else. I’ve already told my hubby that when I’m really crabby, it’s because I’m not getting enough attention. 🙂
Ha ha Melissa. So true!
Hi Diana, Excellent post! Have a Happy Valentine’s Day and good luck with the panel. 🙂
Thanks Joanne! Happy Vday to you, too.
Great post, Diana! I love how you summed up perfectly what ladies really want for Valentines Day – time with the ones we love. Thanks for sharing.
Thank you SA. Hope our hubbies are listening. 😀
Hi Diana,
Very moving and I do hope you get some (all?) of it. Men say women are so complicated, and they never know what we want. The truth, as you’ve just proved, is that we want the simplest of things: a little thought, a little genuine effort. No tokens, no ‘simple’ gifts like overpriced, quick-to-die red roses.